Scene: Trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side. Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts, "Oye Abdul!" A guy gets up from other trench, "Kya hai be" Kartar Singh shoots!! BANG. The guy is shot dead! Kartar Singh shouts again, "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai ?" BANG BANG both khalaas! Kartar Singh shouts again,"Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono khalaas! Pakistanis get worried, they think: Ye Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? They decide to try the trick themselves. "Abe Gurdev Singh" silence "Oye Gurdev Singh!!" silence "O bhai, Gurdev Singh!" This time some one says, "Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?" Pakistani gets up, "Main" BANG! He goes! For more sardar jokes

An under-eye gel from a reputed company is a must-have beauty accessory. Apply it under your eyes in a circular motion daily. Place warm tea bags on your eyes for two minutes, and follow it up with cold ones for another two minutes. Follow this beauty regime twice a week. Drink 10 to 14 glasses of water a day. Get at least eight hours of sleep every night.

The area under arms has become dark due to the constant use of hair-removing cream and razors. Use this skin-lightening remedy: Mix gram flour (equal quantities of Green Gram and Bengal Gram) with milk or rice water. Scrub the paste on the affected area, and rinse with clear water. Use a good quality sunscreen (SPF 30) daily. Opt for waxing. This will ensure that your skin does not become darker than it already is.

MENU PLANNING For most toddlers, one good meal (usually breakfast), two smaller meals, and two or three nutritious snacks each day is fine. Need suggestions for that "good" meal? Here are two examples: Breakfast: 1 cup of fortified cereal 1 cup of whole milk 1/2 banana 1 slice of wholemeal toast with margarine Dinner: 1 cup of pasta with Parmesan cheese and small amount of pasta sauce - too much sauce could upset your baby's stomach 1/4 to 1/2 cup of white chicken meat, cut up 1/2 cup of whole green beans, cooked 1 cup of whole milk

At this age, your toddler really watches the way people behave and interact. He studies your every move, learns to mimic the way your react to situations and to other people, and generally takes cues from the behaviour of those around him. At the same time, your little one wants to do everything you're doing and be "part of the gang". And he doesn't understand that it's often just not possible or practical. He constantly challenges and tests every aspects of his world. This is why it's so important to set the right examples from an early age, and remember to remain as calm and patient as possible when dealing with difficult moments. Set the stage now for you child to start learning how to control ...

Ingredients: 450 gm processed cheese spread 250 gm jar salsa Method: Microwave cheese spread and salsa in a microwave safe bowl. Heat for five minutes on high. Stir after three minutes. Serve with baked tortilla chips, pepper wedges or potato skins.

Ingredients: 1 cucumber, peeled, cut and seeded 2 ½ cups fresh tomatoes 1 large green pepper, chopped 1 large onion,chopped 1 tsp garlic paste 1 tsp paprika Salt and pepper to taste 2 cups tomato juice 2 tbsp lemon juice Method: Shred cucumber with a grater. Combine tomatoes, pepper, onion, garlic, paprika, salt and pepper. Add shredded cucumber to mixture. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cover and chill for at least two hours before serving.

Ingredients: 4 halves of boneless chicken breast 2 lemons 1 tsp dried tarragon (available at Hypercity, Malad) Fresh pepper to taste Method: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place chicken in foil-lined baking pan. Fold sides of the foil up. Halve lemons and squeeze juice of ½ lemon over each chicken piece. Sprinkle each piece with 14 tsp tarragon and pepper to taste. Fold foil together and seal to secure chicken. Bake for about 45 minutes and serve.

Natural remedy to lighten hands and legs tanned in the sun. Use watermelon to lighten your tan. Mix the white and red pulp together. Crush and apply the paste on your arms and legs. Leave it on for five minutes, and rinse. This will sooth your sunburn and lighten your tan. Follow this beauty regime daily. Alternatively, mix baby milk powder, one cap of 20 volume hydrogen peroxide, a few drops of glycerine and the juice of half a lime. Make a paste and apply it on the tanned areas. Leave it on for 15 minutes and rinse. Use a good sunblock daily.

If your face tans easily in the sun and you cannot use any creams and lotions since your skin is very sensitive. Opt for this home remedy to lighten your skin: Mix one tsp milk powder, one tsp honey, 1/4 tsp hydrogen peroxide and enough milk to make a paste. Apply it on your face and neck. Leave it on for 20 minutes, and rinse. Use a glossy face pack once a week.