Lover's Guide


Trust each other and be worthy of trust...

Judge each other with compassion, not by a standard of perfection.

If both of your have jobs, it’s only fair that your both share the housework. Work out a specific agreement as to who does what.

Have a ‘date night’ once a week.

Flirt more with each other

Consideration and kindness out of bed help promote good feelings in bed.

See the opportunities inside problems.

Hold hands.

Mark anniversaries and birthdays on your datebook and calendar. That way you won’t forget.

Let your partner unwind after a long delay. Bring up problems after dinner.

Instead of confronting each other on opposite sides of the tables, learn to share the same side of the table and confront your problems on the other side.

Write down things your have been happiest doing together in the past. Do those things more often.

Be close, but always keep some space for your self.

Learn to forgive

Respect the privacy of each other’s purse, wallet, papers and mail.

Once in a while, each of you have a day which is ‘yours’. On that day, you get treated extra nice and get to choose what both of you will do.

Make your own birthday, anniversary, New year’s and Valentine’s Day cards - and write out how you feel.

Even if it’s not a holiday, write a love note to your sweetheart.

Learn to make yourself happy instead of relying on your partner.

Bike ride together in the countryside.

Meet problems together head on.

Look for the brightest star and make a wish.

Learn some foreign words and phrases, so you’ll have a ‘secret’ language the two of you can use.

Turn your weakness into strengths by filling in where each other is lacking.

Start a hobby together.

Realize you both want the same things to love and to be loved , to contribute and be appreciated , to have fun, and to feel secure.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re a weak – just intelligent.

Take a bath together, complete with jasmine scented bath oils, scented candles and soft music.

If you care, speak in a caring way

Overlook each other’s flaws – remembering that you have your own.

Share your dreams.

Don’t take each other for granted.

Ther is no perfect love out there waiting for you. Enjoy the one you have.

When you hurt your partner, say you’re sorrty.

Dress up for each other.

Criticize only in private.

When you present a gift, wrap it beautifully, Your effort will be appreciated.

You may not always agree, but always hear each other out.

You teach each other how to treat you. If you refuse to accept bad treatment, it’ll stop.

Never assume marriage will change either of you.

You can make mistakes and still be okay.

Avoid comparing yourselves with other couples. You’ll never know the truth about them, and it’s wiser to just enjoy your own happiness.

Humour is healing a- and it’s fun too!

Get a guidebook for your area, and explore the places you haven’t yet visited.

Put each other before all others, including your parents and friends.

When things go wrong, accept your part of the responsibility.

Show you’re open to conversation by keeping your legs and arms uncrossed.

Buy gifts that say, ‘I love you’ no pots and pans.

To be interesting, be interested...

Admire each other’s achievements.

Thank your partner for compliments and kind gestures - and you’ll get more of them!

Not all your mate’s problems are your problems. Sometimes it’s better to be uninvolved.

Have you partner be your best friend – not your only friend.

Play tennis or ping pong together.

Nurture and protect the things you love about your partner

Ask yourself how you can add to your relationship, instead of what more you can get from it.

Never bring up past loves.

‘Peace at any Price’ leads to temporary peace at a high price. Better to work things out.

Spend your energy fixing problems rather than assigning blame

Have a love affair with your mate

There is no perfect harmony in marriage,
only a series of adjustments.

Use things, not people, Love people, not things.

Recognize each other’s contributions to the family.

Surprise your partner with breakfast in bed.

Give your love unconditionally

Take time for yourself too

Happy marriages come from balanced exchanges

If you feel resentful, start asking for what you want more.

If you feel guilty, start giving more.

Give more massages.

Go on lots of walks together, arm-in-arm

Thank your partner for doing household chores.

Keep your promises

Be faithful.

Go to bed early and talk in the dark.

Buy frivolous things for your partner that she wouldn’t buy for herself.

Propose a toast to your mate, even though you’ve only got water in your glass!

Write each other a note saying how the other person has changed your life for the better

When you’re angry, think before your speak.

View things that go wrong as ‘unfortunate’ - not horrible. Most of what we ‘awfulize’ about, we wont’ even rememeber in a few days.

Focus on the 90% that’s right – not the 10% that isn’t

Have a professional photo taken of the two of you.

Your relationship is like a bank account: you have to put into it before you can take out of it.

Cuddle often, even when you don’t want sex.

Take in more live theatre.

The time you spend counts far more than the money you spend.

Keep a scrapbook of your favourite moments together. Look through it on rainy days.

If expression your feelings is hard for you, write them out.

Set aside time for romance

Let your partner know you find her attractive.

It’s okay to disagree.

When you mate comes home from a trip, put up a poster saying, “WELCOME HOME!’

Reaffirm your vows in front of your friends and family.

Develop common goals.

Take the phone off the hook during intimate moments

Ask more open-ended questions.

They begin with ‘how’, ‘why’ and ‘tell me about’ and they encourage your partner to open up. (‘Tell me about the highlight of your day.’’Why are you so eager to see the exhibit?’)

Don’t ask too open-ended questions.

They ask for so muchinformation, all you get are one or two word answers. (‘Tell me all about your day.’’What’s new at work?’)

Be outrageous once in a while.

The best way to encourage your partner to change is to change yourself.

Your first task is to manage your own life.

Flatter your partner.

When your mate’s almost done bathing, sneak the towel out of bathroom – and warm it in the dryer!

Have priorities and make love first not last

Your feelings come from your thinking. If you change your thoughts about your mate, your feelings will change.

Instead of criticizing what you don’t like, praise what you do like.

Tackle problems early, while they’re small, while there are still lots of good feelings.

Write out together 10 things you’d love to do together. Then get started doing them!

Always take care of each other