Jokes

Wanting to find out if both his wife and his mistress were being faithful to
him, Gary decided to send them on the same cruise and question each one
later about the other's behavior.

When his wife returned, he asked her about people on the trip, casually
inquiring about the passenger who was his mistress when she mentioned the
woman.

"Oh, that woman slept with nearly every man on the ship!" his wife reported.

Unhappy with this information, Gary planned a rendezvous with his cheating
mistress and decided to question her about the trip before confronting her
with what he knew.

Once again, he carefully inquired about the woman who was his wife after
ascertaining that they had met.

"She was a real lady," his mistress said.

Gary's spirits picked up. "Why do you say that?" he asked.

"She came on board with her husband and never left his side."

 

A sardar boy beaten on the ass by his teacher, goes
home, looks at his back in the mirror and says: "Saale ne maar maar ke
doh tukde kar diya!!'

 

A very ugly woman walks into a shop with her two sons.
A man asks her, "are they twins?"
Puzzled the woman replies, "no one is 3 years old and the other is 10. Why do u ask?"
The man replies: "no particular reason, i just can't believe someone fucked u twice".

 

What did Stayfree tell to condom?
A: Boss if you fail, both of us will be out of business for next 9 months.

 

Airtel boy asked Spice Girl: what is ur speciality?
Spice Girl: Night time incoming free!!

 

Why men doesn't make shhh..sound while pissing like women?
Ans:Cos God had given them them six to eight inches long SILENCER!

 

Q: Who is a gynaecolgist ?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place,
where most people find pleasure.

 

Santa reads a poster outside a police station "wanted for rape and murder
cases." He goes in and says, "Sir I want to apply for the job on the poster !!!".

 

Santa give twelve roses to his wife, Jeeto, who is thrilled with Santa's
action. She undresses, lies down spreads her legs and says
this is for the roses.

Santa: Why, can't you find a vase.

 

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't !!

 

Teacher: Why are you rubbing oil on your head while I am teaching?
Boy: Last night I heard my mum tell my dad,rub oil on the head if it's not
going in.

 

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness..

 

Sex Karo Daily,
Agar Woh Mil Jaye Akeli.
Agar Na Mile Akeli Toh Pakad Lo Uski Saheli,
Agar Na Mile Saheli Toh Jindabaad Hatheli.
BUT DO SEX DAILY!!!!!

 

Four types of women having sex.
1.Asthmatic, ah..aahh..ah..ahh..
2.Obedient, yes..oh..yes..ah..yes.
3.Greedy, more..more..pls,
4.Religious: oh God..oh.. oh.. in..

 

Ek kavi shaadi ke baad biwi se bola:
Aaj se tum hi meri kavita ho,kalpana ho, bhawana ho !
Patni: Mere liye bhi aaj se aap he dinesh ho, rohit ho, rakesh ho!

 

Dr. to patient getting no erection:
Married?
No.
U masturbate ?
No.
You visit prosts?
No.
You have girl friends?
No.
Toh phir khada karke kya Calender tangaenga?

 

Doctor to his lady patient:
U look so weak and exausted!
Are u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?

Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day!!

 

What would one say while removing bra?
Desh mein nikala chand.

While removing panty?
Khulja sim sim.

While having sex?
Kya masti kya Dhum!

After sex?
Kamjor kadi kaun?

 

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that thing?.

 

A foreign tourist spots a sexy eunuch while walking
down Malabar Hills and asks:"R u a Prostitute?"

the eunuch replies: "No, I am a substitute."

 

While paying the bill, the storekeeper objected on a Rs.500 note. and
asked the girl as to where she keeps the notes. The
Girl replied " In my bra.."
"That is why Gandhiji's MOUTH IS OPEN.!!" exclaimed
the shopkeeper.